


shouldn't be feeling this way

by orphan_account



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora is a dumb jock, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Gay Panic, How Do I Tag, Lesbian Disaster Adora (She-Ra), Nothing to see here, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, catra's a skater kid, just a couple of gals being pals, probably angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23121547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Catra's parents leave on a business trip for a month, she finds herself pumped to be alone. So much possibility for her as a high school senior. Her plans were quickly sent out the window at the mention of a 'family friend' - a babysitter for her, as she saw it.She had a plan, or so she thought.this is my first work in catradora and i'm very rusty! but! wish me luck
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Kyle/Rogelio (She-Ra), Lonnie/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 148





	1. unfortunate beginnings

"Catra," a muffled voice called from the lower floor of the household called.

The girl who happened to be Catra jumped up out of bed, tossing her sheet aside to make her bed later. She sprang down the stairs, skidding down the banister as she found herself downstairs. "Yeah, mom?" Catra asked, raising a brow as she looked at her mother.

She had been waiting for today. For a long time, in fact. Months even. Ever since it was announced that her mother would be going on a business trip and she would, in fact, be left alone, Catra was stoked. Without her mom on her tail every single second of every single day, Catra would be free for once. 

And she looked forward to it.

"I'm leaving for my trip tonight, do you have everything ready?" Her mother had been sorting out some things on the counter, probably writing notes for Catra. 

"Yep, I'm good to go," Catra responded with a forced neutral expression. Internally she was screaming and jumping around like she'd won the lottery.

"Alright, well," her mother continued. There was always something more to it, Catra thought, waiting for whatever else she'd have to deal with. "There's someone I'd like you to meet. She's going to be here any moment now, an-" 

Her mother was cut off by a ring at the door, a very distinct noise. Her mother turned around to walk over to the door, opening it with a grin that seemed quite forced. "Catra, this is Adora. She's going to stay with you while I'm gone." Catra's mom paused, before, as per usual, continuing. "Her mother is out of town for the month as well, so we figured we'd have you two stay together and keep each other in line." 

Catra didn't even listen. She couldn't hear.

She knew this girl. Adora, the captain of the softball team. The golden girl. She-Ra, her team had always called her. Straight A's, always loved by the teachers, the girl everyone chased after.

She was one of those kids; the popular ones. The ones who sat in front of the class, the ones who had their own lunch table every day that might as well be sacred ground. Catra's first instinct was to scoff, but she didn't, instead nodding. 

Adora waved, grinning at her.

That dumb grin.

"Well, I've ought to be going, the driver is going to be here at any moment. Catra, be a dear and show her around the place, will you? Thanks." Her mother didn't even pause to let her respond, picking up her black leather purse and walking out the door as Adora awkwardly cowered past. 

Adora paused, her backpack hanging off one shoulder. "Well uh, hello, I'm Adora," she said, holding one hand out for Catra, who still stood a few feet away. Catra just looked at her hand and moved forward, giving it an uncomfortable shake. 

"I'm Catra. You're the one girl off the softball team, right?" The shorter girl asked plainly, looking her over a bit.

"Yeah, that's me. Although I'd rather not be known for the team, I totally messed up our last game." Adora sighed to herself, chuckling nervously. 

"You won it though?" Catra tilted her head, letting her hand fall back to her side.

"Mm, we won. I messed up and almost cost us the game." 

Catra just shook her head disappointedly, realizing that this was going to be quite the month. "Kay, well, mom told me to show you around, so let's do that." She turned without giving Adora the chance to respond, walking over to the kitchen. Nonchalantly moving over to the fridge, Catra opened it. "Food," she said, gesturing to it and closing the door, before opening the one above it, the freezer. "More food. Fill up the ice trays if you use them." 

Adora nodded along, taking in the space. It was a big house, two floors with an open concept design, walls painted pale brown and the floors dark hardwood, except for the living room, which switched to long, off-white carpet. When she looked back to Catra, she was gesturing at the trash can, saying something along the lines of 'you get the message.'

"Upstairs is where you're staying, we have a spare room up there." Catra lead her over to the stairs, hopping up and deciding to talk as she did. "So, almighty She-Ra," she began, smirking to herself. "Why'd you agree to babysit me while our parents are out doing their thing?"

"I'm not babysitting. We're the same age, and our parents just wanted us to be around each other so in the off chance that anything goes wrong-" 

"Pfft. My mom stuck you with me because you're the school good girl, and I'm the one that gets in trouble and needs someone to watch her every movement, simple as that." Catra chuckled as she opened the door to Adora's room, letting her walk in first.

"First of all, I'm not stuck with you, I agreed to it," Adora reasoned, walking into the room and setting her backpack down next to the bed. "Second, we're just here to keep each other safe if anything goes wrong."

Catra narrowed her eyes. 

"If you say so blondie. The bathroom is down the hall on the right, if you need me, then don't." Catra waved and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her and popping back into her room to curl up on her bed again, grumbling softly to herself.

She heard a knock at her door, ignoring it. The knock was followed by a little sigh, and a soft 'okay, maybe later,' then footsteps, back toward the room next door, 

Catra looked confused, to say the least. Adora, the bitch at the top of it all, the one who practically ruled their hellhole school, had respected her privacy?

She wasn't even used to her own mother respecting her privacy. If her mom wanted her, she'd yell for her, knock, then barge in, no matter when. This was new.

But Catra had more to worry about than her privacy.


	2. denial and icecream

After a long Saturday of catching up on homework and ignoring her new not-by-choice friend, Catra was in bed, listening to music and waiting for it to hit midnight. She assumed that Adora had gone to bed with her put-together self, but she waited for a bit after hearing Adora's door click shut.

Hopping up and popping her phone in her pocket, Catra tugged on her boots. She slunk over to her door, twisting the knob, pulling down and opening it quickly, managing to get past without it creaking. Closing the door and tiptoeing her way over to the staircase, Catra glanced around, letting her eyes adjust to the near-dark of the home.

She snuck down the stairs, then to the front door, picking up her motorcycle key off of the coat hook and grabbing her motorcycle helmet off the hook. Just as she was about to open the doorknob-

"Hey."

It was Adora. Of course.

Catra slid her helmet onto the table behind her, holding her keys in her pocket. "Hey, Adora. Need something?" she asked, acting as oblivious as she could, raising a brow.

"Mm, I heard you going downstairs and wanted to make sure you were doing alright. It's late." The blonde just stood there nonchalantly, looking at the rather dressed up girl who stood by the door.

Upon closer inspection, Adora looked great even when she wasn't dressed up. She had a pair of black basketball shorts on, accompanied by a t-shirt with "Brightmoon High" printed on the front. Their hellhole of a highschool that Catra wanted to abandon more than anything else.

"I was just going for a little walk, I needed fresh air," Catra fibbed, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket.

"Why are you dressed up then?" Adora asked plainly, raising a brow.

"The clothes I had on earlier were too cold. These were just the closest ones." She fibbed again.

"Mm, sure, but what about the helmet?" Adora asked again, a proud smirk plastered on her face.

"I was going to go down to the park and walk around there." Yet another fib.

"You know there are creeps down there, especially on a Saturday night." Adora walked over and took her helmet, hanging it up on the highest wall hook.

Catra tried to reach it, narrowing her eyes.

Adora reached into Catra's pocket, prying the key from her hand and hanging it up on the next hook over.

"Now, let's watch a movie or something," Adora muttered, checking that the door was locked and making her way over to the living room, glancing over to see that Catra had, in fact, followed her over. She sat down, and Catra made a point out of getting herself as far away as possible from the blonde.

Catra huffed and looked over at her, sitting there on the couch. Her hair was a mess, her clothes were nothing spectacular, and yet she still looked so perfect. Lazily picking up the remote, Adora looked back over to Catra. "What kind of movie do you want to watch?" she asked softly, turning the system on to look through their options.

Catra shrugged. "I don't know, pick something. I'm gonna go get changed." The brunette hopped off the couch and went back up to her room, leaving Adora to go through her options on Netflix.

Adora chuckled to herself when she saw Catra's recently watched. Orange Is the New Black, The L Word, Blue is the Warmest Color, Below her Mouth, along with all sorts of other movies. They were mixed in with some other shows, but it definitely got a little laugh out of the blonde.

Adora kept browsing for a while longer, trying to find something that they could both enjoy.

-

Catra was mad. She pulled her phone from her pocket while haphazardly kicking off her boots, pulling up the group chat that she shared with some friends of hers. Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio, all of which had been in a panic. She was an hour late to the party they'd been having, mostly a product of Lonnie's girlfriend living alone and having the ability to host things there.

Typing up a quick text to the chat, Catra scowled softly.

nya | 12:07 am  
sorry hoes  
can't make it tonight  
the bitch mom stuck me with is making me stay in

twinkie | 12:07 am  
that's okay!! we're just hanging out tonight. lonnie wanted to play fear pong so rogelio and i are getting our butts kicked tonight >:(  
hope to see you sometime this weekend

nya | 12:08  
well im gonna go try and put up with the bitch mom stuck on me  
wish me luck

Turning off her phone and putting it face down on her nightstand, Catra shrugged her jacket off, followed by her shirt. She grabbed an oversized dark red and white baseball tee, tugging that on, then pulling off her black jeans to put on some short exercise shorts.

Making her way back down the stairs and curling up on the couch - this time on the end closer to Adora, but still on the other couch, - Catra glanced back over at the TV. "Did you find anything yet?" she asked, rather deadpan in her tone.

"Mm, no, but I did find something pretty rich of the one supposedly crushing on a 'guy from another school,' as I believe it was told to me." Adora chuckled.

"What's that meant to mean?" Catra asked, rather defensively as she crossed her legs.

Adora scrolled back up to her recents, displaying the wide array of shows. Some explicit, some not, most of them very gay. "Don't play dumb." Adora snickered.

"What? They're shows, public media. Nothing 'rich' about it." Catra tried to keep her cool, but a tinge of red was trying it's very hardest to become apparent on her face.

"Sure. You claim to like some guy from another school, but I'm starting to think that you lied about his name to your friends." Adora laughed softly, not at Catra, just at the situation. "Any chance that his name is Laura Prepon?"

Catra huffed. "Can't I be strai- Ahem. Can't I be straight and enjoy the sa-.. the same content as anyone else?" She was clearly trying her hardest.

"Yeah, but considering you're red as a tomato and Erika Linder is probably the mystery man you've been losing sleep over," Adora paused, chuckling to herself. "I won't pry. Sorry."

"No, no, it's fine." Catra paused, glancing up to see a somewhat shocked Adora, then glancing back down. "It's nothing important. You're definitely right about the guy being fake though."

Adora grinned and went back to Netflix. "If you say so kitty." The blonde brushed off the nickname, scrolling through her options with a little smug expression.

Catra just got more red, groaning annoyedly. "Just find a movie or whatever, I'll be back."

The brunette got up again and Adora kept scrolling, trying to find something else to watch.

Catra made her way to the kitchen and pulled down two bowls, then grabbing a spoon for each one from the drawer. She turned to the freezer and grabbed the tub of icecream, putting a bit in each one, then adding a little extra to one of them.

She stuck the spoons in their respective bowls, walking back to the living room and holding out the slightly fuller one to Adora, who seemed quite surprised. "Thanks, Catra," she said as she took the bowl, deciding not to use the nickname for the sake of not sounding condescending. Catra returned to her spot on the couch just as the movie started, sitting back to 'fight through' the next hour or so.

It didn't take long for her to doze off.


	3. give me a chance

The next morning, Catra woke up on the couch. Soft golden light trickled in through the window as the girl slowly opened her eyes. Taking a moment to glance around the living room, Catra noticed a thin blanket that had been gently draped over her, which, upon looking back at the night before, was definitely not her doing. What little she did remember of the night before was a bit blurry, the only things that stuck out being Adora's making fun of her Netflix habits and some ice cream. Catra came to the conclusion that the blonde had been the one to put a blanket on her. 

Nothing else came back from the night before as the brunette sat up, rubbing her mismatched eyes gently and yawning. She stood up, twitching her nose slightly as she adjusted to the surroundings. She smelled something sweet and heard some sizzling coming from the kitchen, and upon closer inspection, overheard some soft humming as well. Setting down the blanket and stretching, Catra walked over to the kitchen, putting her elbows on the island to lean on and glancing over at the blonde, who didn't seem to notice her.

"Hey, Adora." Catra greeted her rather softly, looking around to see what had been going on in the kitchen. Adora glanced over her shoulder to smile and wave at her, but quickly went back to focusing on whatever was in the pan in front of her. 

"Sleep well?" Adora asked over the sizzling coming from the pan. For a moment the sizzling paused as Adora moved her hand to flip whatever was in front of her, landing as the noise kicked up again. The blonde had clearly done this before, whatever it was she was doing. 

"Yeah, my neck's a little off but I'm alright." Catra got up and sauntered over to Adora to see what she was doing, looking at the plate of pancakes that had started to pile up. They all looked perfect, cooked to a light shade of golden brown. "Impressive," she muttered, smirking to herself as she walked off again, this time over to the kitchen window to look outside. 

"I've been making these since I was ten. Mom taught me." Adora grinned as she ladled more batter into the pan, lifting it up and tilting it slightly to shape it into a circle. Her eyes shimmered a bit, further indicating her focus. 

Catra nearly scoffed at her words. She held it back so she didn't seem like she was making fun of her, but the thought of having a caring mother was long lost on her. Instead, she nodded along, letting the sunlight from the window warm her up. "You two are close, right?" Catra asked, glancing back at her as she sat down on the windowsill, a spot that she'd claimed as her own.

Adora shrugged slightly, flipping the pancake she had been frying. "We used to be. She got distant back when she started managing with your mom. Work just took over, y' know." Adora scooped the last of the batter into the pan, concentrating on that for a moment. "We try to make time for each other, but from my school schedule to her work, there's not much of it." 

Catra nodded a bit, waiting to make sure she'd finished before she commented on it. "My mom did the same. I mean, we've never been close, but work is definitely more important than me in her eyes." Catra added a bitter little chuckle onto the end of her statement, the only thing that made her statement sound a bit less upset. "I wish she'd come around, but, up to her. I fare just as well on my own." Catra knew that was a lie. The only people in her life now were Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio, occasionally Scorpia, shortly followed by whoever wanted to bully her on any given day. Factor in her helicopter mom and unfortunate class schedules and Catra hardly had anyone most days.

"Alone, huh?" Adora asked softly, glancing over at Catra for a moment. "I don't think anyone should have to be alone, even less have to just accept it." Adora turned back to flip over the last pancake, setting it on the plate and turning off the stove as she shifted the pan to the back burner, setting the spatula in the sink. "We have statistics and gym together tomorrow, plus lunch, so why not hang out with me for a day?" Adora asked, looking a bit hopeful. "At least give me a chance?" she chuckled softly.

"Me and you? Hanging out?" Catra snickered, raising one brow. "I don't think I'll last a minute if I show up with you on Monday. You're the total opposite of me." Catra pushed some of her hair from her face, stretching her arms. "You've got your little gang, you know, the pink one and the crop top boy. I'm not just gonna fit in like that." 

"Glimmer and bow are nice. They'll be fine with it. Plus, it's only for two periods and then lunch, what harm is it gonna do?" Adora asked plainly, going through all of the cupboards to find some plates and set them down on the counter, only to go through all the drawers shortly after to find some forks as well. Catra just watched and smirked.

"Sure, they're nice. To you. What are all of your little followers and fan clubs gonna do when they see the walking dirt with their goddess?" Catra giggled dully as she looked at the blonde, who seemed a bit perplexed.

"You don't really think that, do you?" Adora asked softly as she put two pancakes down on each plate, leaving the others on the plate she'd stacked them on before to freeze for later in the week. She carried the two plates over to set them down on the dining table, along with the forks, before heading back into the kitchen. "I mean, I've never seen you like that. Plus, I'm not a goddess. I just have some friends off of the team." 

"Suuure, and that's why they call you 'She-Ra,' yeah?" Catra chuckled. "All jokes aside, you've totally got a fan club. If I just show up with you I'll probably get burned alive or something like that." Catra's eyes narrowed, a bit salty if anything. "People like you and people like me just don't mix well. Mkay?" 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Adora laughed as she carried the syrup and butter over to the table, setting them down in the middle and gesturing to the side opposite of hers. "We get along just fine, right?" she asked, smiling and raising a brow.

"I wouldn't say that. You made me stay in last night when I said I was just going on a walk, then made me watch a cheesy rom-com with you, you've offended my very nature." Catra moved over to sit across from her, adding a little 'thank you' onto the end of her statement as she took the syrup from the center of the table.

"Awe, but you liked it. I can tell." Adora grinned and pulled her chair out, sitting down and looking over to Catra, who had made a little smiley face in syrup and crossed it out, maybe by accident but definitely amusing coming from her. Setting the bottle back down only for Adora to take it and put some syrup on top of her pancakes, Catra was rather excited to have an actual breakfast for once.

"How do you know I enjoyed it? I could've hated it with a burning passion. I did. I was miserable." Catra exaggerated, crossing her legs under the table. 

"You fell asleep purring and hugging the throw pillow," Adora stated plainly, shrugging. "Plus, you were snoring so hard that I'm not surprised I couldn't wake you up to get you in bed. I would've carried you but I didn't want to freak you out." 

Catra laughed. "Mmmhm. I don't just purr, silly goose." Catra cut a little piece off of her pancake, eating it to avoid making another callback for a moment.

"I mean, you did. Those cat ears and your tail, they've gotta be for something, right?" Adora beamed and watched Catra's cheeks darken a little bit. The room went quiet for a moment while Catra finished her bite, Adora following right behind her.

"Just with hearing and reflex. Nothing else to them." Catra muttered the last part, noticing she had to tell a lot of lies when it came to Adora. Was she trying to hide something? She didn't know. Did she have a reason behind wanting to come off cool and collected? She didn't know that either.

"Alright, if you say so." Adora decided to drop the topic, which made Catra quite happy. They went back to eating in silence, though it hadn't been as awkward as most of their past silences, seeing as they'd finally accepted that they'd be stuck together for the next while and wouldn't be able to just ignore the other.

After another few minutes spent in near-dead silence, save for the occasional clinking of silverware on plates, the two of them had finished their breakfast. 

Catra stood and offered to take Adora's plate, getting a nod from the blonde and carrying their plates over to the sink to set them in. Mismatched eyes lingered on Adora for a moment as she put the butter and the syrup back, though quickly went back to the sink in front of her. Pausing for a moment, her hand lingered on the handle for the faucet. 

"So, about meeting up on Monday."


	4. that's all i got

The afternoon had rolled around and it had gotten even warmer outside. Catra had changed into some pale blue overall shorts and a plain white t-shirt, and had been in her room for the past hour or so. Earlier that morning Adora had offered to spend Monday with her, and she was excited, but she definitely didn't want that smug little blonde to know about that.

Catra stared down at the textbook in front of her, which was starting to turn into a senseless jumble that made little to no sense whatsoever. Even if she did understand it, the information was nowhere near retained, just falling to the back of her mind again and again. She knew she was being tested on something eventually, but she hardly even remembered what it was she had been trying to study for.

It was only when a knock sounded on her door that Catra was brought back to her senses. She hopped up and slipped her pen into the book, tossing it down and walking over to the door. When she opened it, what she saw was nothing new; a very cheery-looking Adora.

"Yeah?" Catra asked, leaning on her doorframe slightly as she eyed the blonde.

"The team canceled today because it's too hot and they don't wanna play. Sooooo..." Adora trailed off, staring at Catra. "We can hang out even more today!" she declared proudly. Noticing Catra's still blank expression, Adora nodded. "Right, uh, only if you want to. We don't need to, I just have more time an-"

"You're fine. Be ready in twenty though, I'm taking you down to the park." Catra chuckled softly as she closed her door, listening to the soft thumping of Adora running happily over to her room. Catra turned around and undid the buttons on her overall shorts, taking them off to put on a pair of plain black jeans. The brunette tugged on some converse, maybe not the best shoes to wear for biking, but they'd do the job.

Next door, Adora was having quite the time. She had switched out her basketball shorts for some blue skinny jeans, then slipped on a pair of plain pastel yellow vans. She pulled on a red t-shirt and tied her hair up, haphazardly pulling on a black and white flannel. She glanced down at her phone which, upon closer notice, had blown up. It was inevitable that she'd have a few notifications, but she'd barely checked anything for the past day.

She pulled up her messages app and saw a few texts, from her group chat, oddly enough one of the only groups she talked in. Reading over the messages, she moved to sit on her bed.

sparkler | 9:02  
morning

bowo| 9:03  
hiii!

sparkler| 9:03  
why are you even up this early i thought adora was the early riser

bowo | 9:04  
trade secret.  
also, perfuma wanted to go watch the sun come up

sparkler| 9:04   
mkay  
still, dunno where adora went bc shes NOT RESPONDING

bowo | 9:04  
im sure shes fine  
didn't she say something about staying at a friends house

sparkler | 9:05  
idk i asked her mom if we could chill this weekend and she said that she'd be out of town so she's probably at a relative or a friends house

bowo | 9:05  
something like that   
we'll see

blondie | 11:18  
Heyyy fellas   
I've been busy with  
The cat

sparkler | 11:19  
the cat, says she, the one who does not have a cat

blondie | 11:19  
No silly  
Y'know that one pretty magicat girl in our year with the cool eyes? her

sparkler | 11:20  
ahhhh so ur with a girrlll

blondie | 11:20  
fjgkdkks!! not like that  
We're just hanging out until our moms get back  
anyway, I gotta blast, we're going to the park. chat later?

With that, Adora put her phone back on her nightstand and huffed softly. Of course, after she'd gone missing for less than even a day, they'd lost their minds about it. The softball team group chat had gone nearly silent, probably because everyone was taking their day off and clinging onto it like it was the only thing keeping them alive. The blonde wouldn't complain, it just meant more time to try and figure out why this cat girl was being all sorts of standoffish.

Adora stretched her arms out and walked over to her door, heading out to wait in the hallway. She was quickly joined by Catra, who had also changed into something a bit more fitting.

"You ready?" Catra asked nonchalantly, a little proud smirk making itself evident on her expression when she noticed Adora's giddy little smile.

"Yeah, do you need me to bring anything?" Adora queried and tilted her head and hung her thumbs in her belt loops, looking the girl over a bit. That, in particular, made Catra chuckle.

"Nah, we can grab lunch on the way back if you want though." Catra spun on her heel and walked towards the stairs with a flick of her tail, skipping steps as she hopped down.

Adora watched her hop down and nearly winced when she saw the girl bypassing every other step, inner nervous wreck slipping out just a bit. Catra made it down safely nevertheless, but the blonde concluded that she'd definitely done this before. The two made it to the door with no further conversation, Catra growling as she tried to reach her helmet on the higher hook Adora had left it on.

"Aww, let me get that for you," the blonde murmured with a wide grin. She reached up and pulled the helmet off the hanger, grabbing the key and holding it out for her as well. Catra just scowled, gripping onto them and setting them on the cabinet. Kneeling and looking through the cabinet, Catra eventually found another helmet. It was red with a black stripe down the center, and a bit larger than hers.

She held it out for Adora and got back on her feet, raising a brow. "Might want to take your hair down though, that isn't gonna be comfortable," Catra remarked as Adora took the helmet.

Adora nodded and set the helmet down on the table, pulling the tie from her hair and letting it pool at her shoulders before putting it in a lower ponytail. She tugged the helmet on and went to buckle it, fiddling with the strap in confusion.

Catra laughed and leaned closer to her. "Aww, let me get that for you, princess," she used Adora's own words against her, earning her a disgruntled huff. "It's fine. It took me at least three months to figure the damn thing out myself." Standing up on her tiptoes and flicking one feline ear, Catra fastened the buckle. She jokingly gave Adora's head two knocks, turning back around and pulling her helmet on.

Adora just rolled her eyes, smiled, turned and opened the door for her, stepping outside. Catra followed, closing the door and locking it with a spare key. 

"Ever ridden a motorbike? You don't seem like the type." Catra donned a bright smirk as she stared the other girl down, gauging her reaction.

"Nope. It'll be new for me. It's only, uh, two or so miles to the park, right? So I'll be fine." Adora laughed nervously and followed her over to the bike. "Plus, I've been on horses. Can't be that hard."

"You ride horses?" Catra asked as she grinned from ear to ear. "I can definitely see that happening. Never would have guessed it but, it fits so perfectly." She laughed under her breath, leaning up against the garage wall. She was intrigued now.

"Ah, yeah, I have a horse. We board him at the barn a few miles down the road from the school. Been riding since I was far far far younger." Adora grinned, clearly rather excited at even the topic of her horse.

"Mm, cool, so you're used to unpredictable things and bites, right?" Catra asked with a giggle, her tail lashing around in amusement. 

"Swifty doesn't bite me, but there isn't too much you can throw at me that'll be a big deal to me," Adora noted, smirking.

"We'll see about that." Catra paused, looking around. "Anyway, here's what you're gonna do," she started, moving over to her bike. "Handles," she said, gesturing at the handles on the side of the slightly elevated passenger seat. "Hold onto those, or me, whichever is more comfortable. Keep your legs in, and try not to hit me with your head if we have to slow down. Not much else to it."

Adora nodded along and kept it all in mind, watching Catra flip the visor on her helmet down as she got on the bike. The taller girl followed, getting on the back of the bike and flipping the screen on her helmet down as well. 

Catra started the bike and revved it, the machine releasing a rumbling sound that the magicat found fitting enough. Adora was going to hold the handles, but she realized Catra was waiting for something, more specifically, something she didn't know. Adora placed her hands at Catra's hips to see if that was what she expected, earning a slight flick of the girl's tail.

Catra decided that was substantial and took off, taking the two of them to the park nearby as promised with no protest from the blonde behind her. Occasionally, mostly on corners, Adora would tighten her grasp slightly around Catra, which never failed to make the shorter girl smirk. From then on she tried to hit every corner she could, just trying to get a rise out of her.

Eventually, they were at the park. Catra shut off the engine and held the bike up, Adora hopping off and moving away so Catra could kick the stand down. She put her key in her back pocket and followed Adora, looking around the farmiliar place.

A few tables and benches were scattered around, one of which occupied by students, a group of college boys as Catra remembered them. Catra lead them over to a table and tugged off her helmet, setting it down as Adora followed suit.

"So, I'm really hoping that neither one of those boys is the one you've been talking about," Adora muttered softly to Catra, which made the magicat giggle.

"Ew, no. They're like three years older than me, and I find it offensive that you think my standards are that low," Catra responded, laughing again as she looked over at the two.

"Mm, so what do you like in a guy?" Adora asked, grinning at her own question. She just wanted to annoy Catra now. It was painfully obvious.

"If I told you, you'd know who I like, and I can't trust just anyone with that knowledge. For me to know and you to find out, princess." Catra sat down at the table and crossed her legs, rolling her eyes.

"I'm not just anyone though. Not like I'll tell." Adora smirked softly and looked over, not expectantly, just letting her decide. She was making a very obvious effort to drill it into Catra's head that she would figure it out.

"Alright, if you insist." Catra began, letting out a little sigh. "Well, the one thing in a guy that I just cannot, for the life of me, as hard as I try, resist..." she trailed off, looking Adora in the eye. Adora didn't react, just listening to her. Catra remained silent for a moment longer. "That's all I got." 

Adora broke out into a fit of laughter, nodding. It took a moment for her laughter to die down, but when it was done, Catra couldn't help but hold back a wide grin.

"I'll be right back, alright?" Adora asked, earning a nod from Catra. The magicat just pulled out her phone to check her messages, fully immersed in whatever pointless social media drama was going on before long. 

Adora was long gone, wherever it was she had gone to, Catra didn't know. She'll be back, Catra thought to herself, idly tapping her heel on the cement beneath her. 

She was in her own world.

It was obviously temporary, because the whistle that sounded behind her pierced her boundary she'd built against the commotion and ripped it down like it was nothing.

Now she was worried.


	5. i'll get over it

_heya, slight tw because creepy dude being creepy im sorry_

Catra shut off her phone with a soft growl, put it face down on the table, and stood up reluctantly. She looked over at whoever it was that had whistled at her, grimacing. It hurt her ears, she couldn't deny that, even if it wasn't too loud. Bracing herself for whatever it was 

There they were, the two college guys from the table not far away from her.

"Can I help you?" she asked, a hiss coming through in her tone. Tail swaying around as she stared the two down, she waited for a response.

One of the two boys grinned and crossed his arms over his chest. He was a gangly guy with black hair and dark eyes, nothing too far out of the ordinary by Catra's standards. He looked her over before he spoke, probably judging his own safety. "Hey Wildcat. Where were you last night? We were really looking forward to seeing you around."

"I got held up at home and didn't feel like it, I'm sure you can accept that." Catra looked bothered, to say the least, looking the guy over with her eyes narrowed. She had to try pretty hard to hide the unnerved tone in her voice, but she managed, even if he had quite the advantage. Adrenaline rushed through her, but remaining stoic was the best thing she could do for herself.

"Aw, no fun. Wanna make it up to me?" he suggested, smirk wide as ever. He noticed how tense Catra looked, how her shoulders were up high and her ears were back, but he knew he was at a lead in terms of strength.

"No, no I don't." The feline hung her thumbs in her pockets, watching as the man walked closer to her slowly, his friend staying back. Probably for his sake, Catra thought. Worst comes to worst, she could just use her claws, right? She had them for a reason. 

"Ah, I think you need to. I set up that whole thing so we could spend some time together, and all I get is your little group of friends." He grinned as he stepped closer, looking down at her. Now he stood only a few paces away. "You're the one I wanted to see last night, not them."

"Hm. That's unfortunate." Catra's fist tightened slightly. Her facade was as strong as she could manage, but oh boy was this kid getting on her nerves. "This tall dark tough jerk look doesn't work on you. Cut it." Hard as she tried, she couldn't figure out what was going through his head. "Just let me live. Shit happens." Claws digging into her palms in frustration, Catra glared at him.

"You know you don't mean that." He closed the gap between them, close enough to look directly down at Catra. He had a height advantage for sure, which was very evident now. "You haven't even given me a chance, and you're turning me down already? I went out of my way to do all of this for you." He paused, reaching out and placing his hand on Catra's shoulder. "You know I've been trying to talk to you for a long time now, and you just look the other way."

Catra flinched at the sudden hand on her shoulder, trying to pull away only to feel his grip tighten. She didn't know what he was up to, not in the slightest, or what she should do to make sure nothing serious happened. They were in public, right? He wouldn't do anything that she'd have reason to stress over.

"If I liked you, you would know. We're not kids. Stop acting the part." Catra stared right into his eyes as well as she could, despite the burning feeling that ran through her. She recognized that to be anger, plain and simple, and she couldn't blame herself for it. "You're a grown-ass man, a college student. Stop acting like you're entitled to my attention. For the record, I was going to show up." Catra ignored the growing clench in his hand, staring him down. "Now, I'm glad I didn't waste my time."

Trying to pull herself away from the clutch of this man was a bad idea on Catra's part. He moved his hand up at light speed to her neck, holding on tight enough to keep her in place. His hand was alarmingly large, giving a certain force to his hold. "You've been leading me on relentlessly for months now. What makes you think it's alright to act like you're all over me and then claim you're uninterested as can be?" 

Catra gulped, struggling to get more air into her lungs. She stared up at him, trying to stall for time. Eyes flicking around, first to his outstretched arm, then to the unhindered grin that refused to leave his face, Catra couldn't think straight. She wanted to run, wanted to fight, but she knew she couldn't. From her point of view, her best choice was to just endure whatever he wanted to push her through.

Her eyes were tearing up. She could feel it. Her whole body was shaking, teeth clamped down on the inside of her lip as time slowed down. She watched his face turn up into a snarl, eyes lit up with fury. If his anger seemed unsolicited and pointless before, it was far more confusing now, the lack of oxygen erasing all of her reasonable thoughts and leaving them behind. Everything started to blur.

Catra couldn't hear anything other than a violent ringing in her ears, but the hand previously closed around her neck was gone in a matter of seconds. Her eyes widened as she jumped away, panting and taking in as much air as she could. 

It took Catra a moment to realize what happened, who had come to her aid. The sight in front of her was far from ideal, but relief far washed out any of those thoughts. Then it came back to her, who this was, why she was helping. It was Adora.

The blonde had shoved this kid far enough away and wedged herself between him and Catra, her jaw grit like she was holding back enough vile language to account for an entire band of sailors. Catra deemed he warranted hearing it.

"I'll give you one minute to either explain yourself or get out of here." Adora's tone was far more strong than Catra's, but she didn't sound too angry, only set and rigid. Even the way she stood was dignified, carrying herself as if she could knock out anyone there in a second flat. IF she wanted to, she probably could.

The offender stared at her for a moment, face still curled up in a scowl. A little growl rumbling deep in his chest was the only noise he offered before turning and walking off in the direction of his friend. Adora only watched him as long as she deemed necessary, turning on her heel back toward Catra. 

It was barely a second before she rushed over to the girl's side and knelt down, putting her arm over her shoulder. It didn't seem like she cared what anyone else would see, which, was accurate. She didn't.

"Hey, hey, it'll be alright." Adora hushed her softly, wiping the tears off of Catra's face. "I'm sorry, I should've thought before- ugh. They even looked shady." She huffed, making a very overt attempt to reassure Catra.

Catra didn't understand why she was helping. No one had ever done anything like that for her before. Sure, Scorpia had tried to hug her, but she never did much else.

"No, it's not your fault," Catra stammered, stuttering as she tried to speak. Her voice was shaky, meddled with stress as she tried to hold back a few choked sobs. Adora just pressed closer and sighed quietly. 

Adora sighed and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, letting her try to compose herself. All she wanted was for Catra to be alright, and she didn't mind waiting for her.

"I should have known earlier. I'm sorry." Adora reemphasized her point, hugging Catra closer to her. "Why don't we just go on a walk and talk things out? If you want to, at least. We don't have to if you want to let things settle." 

Catra was still shaking, but she tried to calm her nerves. It seemed like Adora was helping, but the tremors running through her refused to stop. Sniffling a bit as she pressed herself as close to Adora as she possibly could've, Catra shook her head. "It's fine," she muttered, before repeating herself slightly louder. "I'm fine. We can, uh, go walk now." 

Adora nodded and pulled away, standing up to offer Catra a hand up. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I'm here to listen." Putting the suggestion up was all Adora did, not wanting to press more than she had already. 

Catra took her hand and brushed the dirt off the back of her legs, tail coiled tightly around her leg. "It's okay. Thanks for uh... yeah. Thanks." She cleared her throat and tried to keep herself together, drying her face off again. 

Catra turned and walked back over to the table, picking up her phone to put it in her back pocket and grab her helmet. Adora followed and took hers as well, starting to lead them off toward the trails. It nearly looked like she was on guard, making sure they were alone. The park seemed empty for a Sunday, but she shrugged it off.

Catra followed along, but she wasn't paying attention. Everything felt eerie, uncomfortable, unusual. Whatever the boy's thought process had been, Catra didn't understand it. Where her neck had been grabbed onto remained a hot, searing heat, while at the same time it felt as if it'd been frozen. Even when she knew where she was going, she was so remarkably lost.

"Catra, are you sure you're alright?" Adora looked over at her, worry sparked in her pale blue eyes. It was evident that she was staying closer than normal, to a point that their hands occasionally brushed against each other as they walked. That feeling was probably the only thing that reminded Catra she was still alive.

"Yeah. It's okay, really. He didn't hurt me," Catra reasoned, keeping her eyes directed at the ground in front of them. She knew she wasn't being honest, but she'd prefer that to being what she considered weak in front of Adora any day. More so than she already had, at least.

Adora narrowed her eyes slightly. "You're a terrible liar. I've known it since we met." She sighed softly, looking back toward the path. "It's okay. I just want to help you out, if there's any way I can." Expression dulled compared to her normal wide grin, Adora looked nothing short of grim.

Catra went silent for a bit, leading the two of them to one of her favorite clearings up ahead. It was technically a dog park, but the fence was long demolished and no one had ever taken interest in using it. Setting her helmet down next to a bench and sitting down, Catra just stared at the trees for a moment.

Adora let her do just that. She joined her, keeping to the other side of the bench and giving Catra the space that she always seemed to value. 

"It's not the first time." 

Catra half-laughed half-scoffed, looking down. She felt her face burning again, tears threatening to return yet again. "Nothing new to me. I'll get over it."

Adora looked taken aback if nothing else. Shocked. Her eyes widened a bit, pursing her lips and glancing in the other direction. "You don't need to get over it. Take that back. Now." She paused, trying to find her words. "Why didn't you reach out? Tell your mom? The teachers?"

"No one believed it. It's always been at night." Catra frowned a bit, taking a deep breath. "When I'm making a run for my mom. Y'know, getting whatever odds and ends she needs from the store, whatever it is. He's just there." It took a minute of holding her breath for Catra to finally let out a shaky sigh.

Adora just listened to her. It sent a sting through her to even think of that kid, and that was only the first time she'd seen him. 

"I told mom and she said I was just making up things. That I was bored." Then she laughed again, something Adora didn't quite expect. "I told any teacher who'd listen and they said they couldn't help because he's in college and it's not their issue." Catra leaned back and looked up at the sky, sighing to herself. "Then he got mad. Said I was leading him on and started being more obvious. Then I didn't roll up to his dorm last night and offer myself on a silver platter, so he's pissed. End of story." 

Adora nearly growled. The fact that she hadn't beat the sorry kid to a pulp right then and there sent unadulterated rage right through her, but she took a deep breath and nodded.

"I'm glad I didn't let you go, then," Adora muttered bitterly, biting the inside of her lip to hold back any more commenting. Her hand had tensed into a fist at her side, and though she was looking away, she heard Catra moving around behind her.

Catra's hand settled right on top of Adora's, closing over it gently. Neither one of them spoke, but the silence didn't feel awkward to either of them - if anything it was comforting.

"You don't need to be upset," Catra mumbled, running her thumb over her hand. "He's just trying to make me think he has authority, I'm sure." She wasn't sure.

"He downright harassed you, that isn't okay," Adora responded, glancing back over at Catra. Her gaze was softer, but she was far from smiling. "I want to help you. You can tell me anything."

Catra clutched her hand tighter around Adora's, shifting a bit closer to her and looking back up to the sky above them.

"If you say so."


	6. liability

The evening was nothing short of quiet for everyone involved. Catra had fallen into another downward spiral of questioning everything she thought she knew and coming to no real conclusion in the end. Adora had given her space earlier, doing whatever it was she wanted to elsewhere. Catra was thankful, but she wasn't sure she'd mind having her close again. 

Adora had spent her day cramming for school, keeping to the living room in case Catra came around and decided she wanted to talk more. After everything that had conspired earlier, she didn't want to bother her, especially when she couldn't help but blame herself at least a bit. The house felt a bit too quiet, dead silence leaving her to her thoughts.

It was only when the sun started to drop in the sky that Adora heard anything. Adora kept looking at her textbook, writing in more notes. To her, it seemed more appropriate for Catra to start the conversation, if there would even be any. 

Catra just sat down on the other couch and observed, crossing her legs as she watched Adora. While she didn't look up from her work, Catra knew that she was fully aware of the attention she was getting. 

It took a few minutes for the silence to get to Adora. She closed her book and glanced over at Catra, offering up her best smile, no matter how weak it was.

"Feeling a little better?" she inquired, trying to start up a conversation. They hadn't exactly talked much earlier after getting home, and she wanted to change that eventually. It had only been two days since they'd even met, so she resolved to give Catra plenty of time, but that wouldn't change her curious self.

"Right as rain," Catra quipped, rolling her eyes as she leaned back. "I don't know, really," she added, less jokingly that time around. 

"Again, if there's anything I can do to help, just tell me. Please." Adora repeated herself for what seemed like the twelfth time that day, which was enough to earn a chuckle from Catra.

Catra simply flopped onto her back, sighing. Staring up at the ceiling in dead silence for a moment, she found herself back to her thoughts. Nothing confused her more than what had happened to her earlier, why she did what she did. 

It bothered her that she hadn't been able to stand up for herself. Truth be told, she didn't even know why she said what she had. It was all a blur, and her thoughts weren't much less jumbled. It'd be a lie for her to say she didn't wonder what she was thinking, why she hadn't - even before their first mishap - liked that damned guy. 

He was everything she presumed she wanted; tall, dark, strong, knew what he wanted. Every time she thought of him she couldn't help but find herself correcting every little thing. Nothing about him felt right, which she wanted to blame on their disagreements. 

"I don't want to be a liability for you." Catra broke the silence with a rather harsh tone, taking a moment to wait for a reply. Adora said nothing, so she proceeded. "In the two days we've known each other you've been in charge of keeping me home, then you went so far as to protect me from someone you don't even know. Why?" 

Adora sighed, looking over at her. "I don't know about you. I honestly don't. But I've always learned to do what's right, not what benefits me the most or what other people tell me to. Just what's right." After a moment of thought, Adora resumed, collecting her thoughts. "What happened today- what he did, it was wrong. You both knew that he had the upper hand, and I didn't want, you know," she went quiet, not wanting to finish off her statement. They both knew what she wanted to say even so. 

Didn't want her to get hurt.

It made Catra feel vulnerable enough just putting up with the endless torment and annoyance society placed on her, but this was different. All of what had happened to her in the past, she justified it, put up with it, and moved on. This was different.

Sure, she was thankful. Thankful beyond words. But that didn't change how much hatred rushed through her every time she saw herself in the mirror, how much she despised looking back at everything she'd done. All Catra saw was a coward, someone who needed to be protected by someone else. Someone who had failed.

"Do you even think before you act?" Catra let the question slip, ears swiveling backward. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I need to learn to stand up for myself? Was it ever one of your concerns that maybe I might just deserve what's happening to me?" A little scoff followed her questions as she ran a hand through her hair. "I know you meant well, but I need to fight my own fights."

Adora raised a brow. The fact that Catra had been in a bad mood was obvious, but she hadn't expected that. "Catra--" She had to cut herself off, biting her lip. "You don't need to be alone in this. You're not weak because of it. Everyone needs help sometimes, you know that, don't you?" 

Catra grit her jaw and stared at her, narrowing her eyes. She didn't have words to explain herself, no matter how hard she tried to find them.

"You were on your own today, and I'm sorry I didn't think that through. But you've gotta learn to accept help sometimes, even if it isn't from me. I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth." Gathering up her books and standing up, Adora walked over to the staircase, turning around before she left. "You don't need to push me away because it makes you seem stronger."

A cry got caught in Catra's throat, a silent plea for her to stay that didn't quite make it out before Adora was already on her way out.

"I'll be in my room if you need to talk. Be sure to get some dinner and study for the unit in stats, and don't stay up too late." With that, she made her way upstairs to her room, leaving Catra to her thoughts again.

It was then that Catra felt bad. When they were talking it hadn't occurred to her how she came off, but it only fueled her anger further when she did. Sitting up on the couch and staring at the floor in silence for a moment, she felt her face heating up again. 

Deciding that she'd rather be back in her room, Catra ran up the stairs and slipped into her room, locking the door behind her and stopping in the middle of her room. 

Standing still for a moment, everything went still. The house felt empty, even with Adora one door down. Taking a few shaky steps forward, she felt herself losing balance, lightheadedness taking over her ability to stay upright. The closest surface to her other than the floor happened to be her bed, which she was thankful for, sitting down on the edge to try and collect herself.

What had happened to her? The same repetitive thoughts relentlessly attacked her mind, barging in and blocking out any other noises. A few smothered cries escaped her, breath hitching as she rolled over onto her side.

The thing she worried about the most was Adora. Her first thought was that she'd ruined everything between them just like that, but it didn't seem realistic. Not for Adora. She was strong, was she not? Willing to stand up to challenges, unlike Catra. 

One arm reaching up to the headboard of her bed, Catra grabbed one of her pillows and hugged it close to her front, curling up around it as tightly as she could. Maybe if she felt like she was hugging someone, like she wasn't just crying alone in her room while the sun went down, it'd all go away. 

It dawned on her quickly that she knew what she wanted. She wanted Adora, there, then, hugging her. But she knew she couldn't have that, not with all of the dumb things she'd said. Every single word that she'd carelessly thrown out earlier came back to her and wrenched through her. Everything hurt.

It wasn't like she didn't know what she meant. Catra knew she had plenty to work on for herself. She knew that she was far from perfect, as anyone would be, but that didn't ease the pain. From her point of view, she was no better than the creep she'd dealt with earlier. If she couldn't help herself, who could she help?

Her breathing sped up. Short, shallow huffs, which occasionally caught in her throat and made it hard for her to think straight. In an attempt to avoid making more noise, she leaned forward, biting down on the corner of her pillow. It'd keep her from screwing up the inside of her lip at the very least.

Above all else, she hoped that Adora wouldn't hear her. She had pushed her away for the entire day, even after being practically rescued by her. It didn't make her feel any better that she was the one hurting now, even after being the one who seemed so clearly in the wrong.

-

Next door, Adora wasn't much better off. She didn't know how to process what Catra had said, not a single bit of it. It didn't make sense to her that even after being intimidated and nearly threatened by some disgusting hog off the college campus that she'd be mad at the person who had tried to get her out, of all people.

It didn't sit well with Adora that the other girl wanted to deal with everything on her own. Adora knew from experience that people could be horrifying, dangerous, and plenty of other terrible things. Of course, she didn't like that fact, but she knew it to be the truth.

What hurt the most was hearing that Catra thought of herself so lowly. A liability, as she phrased it herself. Adora disagreed with that. What she knew was plain and simple; she chose to spend the month here, and with that, she chose to try and make a friend out of it. 

It worried her that there might be more beneath the prickly little surface that Catra had to her. Even though she knew, of course, that Catra wasn't just a husk of a person, she could tell that everything was starting to get to her. 

Plain as day, Adora knew she wouldn't be better just like that. She understood that 'getting better' was a process, more than one routine action. More so she understood that Catra had taken a heavy hit earlier, one she couldn't bounce back from like it hadn't affected her.

Nothing made sense anymore. All she could feel was hurt, which had stopped being solely mental by then. Even on a warm evening, she felt frigid, alone to her thoughts. Every possible mishap ran through her mind at light speed. 

What if Catra ran off? If she ended up with that guy again? What if she needed her? If she needed anyone, just anyone to be there for her?

No. 

Catra had told it straight to her face, said she didn't need her help. Adora had to trust her and let her speak for herself. She'd reach out if it got too bad, wouldn't she?

It was nearly laughable. Adora, sitting on the edge of her bed on the verge of tears because of some girl she'd fallen for at first sight. She didn't want to know what was happening in her mind anymore. Earlier that day when she was clinging to Catra like her life depended on it, or when they'd been able to just sit in silence, together, close.

That felt years away. The walls put miles between them, leaving them both alone and frozen. 

Adora didn't know what she was feeling anymore. She knew what she wanted; Catra, next to her again. But that would be selfish, wouldn't it? Catra didn't seem to want her anywhere close.

Shoving the thoughts down and rolling over onto her side, Adora felt tears start rolling down her face. Next door, she could hear Catra's cries. Short little broken whimpers. She'd be a liar if she said it didn't hurt.

Maybe it was her fault.


	7. sorry

Monday morning was interesting, to say the least. Adora woke up at her normal time, 5:30 am, though she hadn't slept long or well. It was a bit of a surprise to wake up and find herself hugging onto her pillow like she was trying to initiate CPR, but she dismissed it. 

Her dreams had been weird. The only thing she fully remembered from them was a recurring theme these past two nights, Catra. 

Swinging her legs over the side of her bed and standing up, Adora stretched, out her arms and yawned. It took her a moment of looking around her room to remember what had happened the night prior, which frustrated her right off the bat.

It didn't hurt any less to look back at last night now that it was over. Did it bother her? Yes. But she knew she had to move past it if she wanted to get anywhere. Crying in the locker room didn't sound appealing by any means.

Adora moved down to the end of her bed and picked up her towel, walking over to her door to open it as quietly as she could. She heard Catra crying until what had to be at least two in the morning and definitely didn't want to wake her up if she didn't need to. 

While Adora made her way over to the shower as silently as she could, Catra was far from asleep.

Even if she wanted to, Catra hadn't slept much more than a wink. Adora had told her to, but she couldn't. For the entire night, she hadn't let go of her pillow, keeping it tight in her arms. Part of her wondered if she could convince Adora to-

Not already.

Catra knew that something was different about Adora. Whatever sense it was in, Catra didn't know. Her whole life had been rather plain in the romantic aspect of it which, even as a senior in high school, she'd failed to explore much more than the basics. It never mattered to her.

None of the guys seemed right for her. In fact, no one seemed right for her, but especially the guys. Whenever she heard gossip - wherever it was from, friends, her mother even - about how she'd look good with some boy, she always found herself faking agreement and carrying on.

Adora felt different. Catra had a habit of mapping things out in her head, whether it be her next hour of procrastination or her life plan with any given person. Usually, it was the same process for each person, asking herself a few basic questions along the lines of 'could I see myself spending my life with this person' and plenty of other random inquiries.

Adora's had been more complicated. It was never a simple yes or no. She blamed that on only knowing this girl for a few days, but she recognized that as an excuse. 

Either way, Catra knew she needed to keep herself from developing feelings for Adora. This girl was leagues above her, on top of everything, passing all of her classes, probably the most desirable girl in the school.

That didn't change things for her in the slightest.

-

Later that morning, after getting on the bus and making it to school, Catra stayed as far away from Adora as she could. She just wanted her day to be over with as soon as possible, and after not speaking to Adora all morning, she knew it'd be a bad idea to do that in public.

Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio all had different schedules from Catra's, which left her on her own as per usual. It was only in passing period from first to second that she finally bumped into Adora.

Catra knew that they had seven minutes between each class to get everything they needed and settle in. The better part of passing was spent causing havoc and yelling in the classrooms most of the time, but Catra tried to ignore the noise and get ready. 

Fuck.

There was a test today. Adora had even warned her. She felt a little tap on her shoulder, quickly snapping her out of her thoughts. 

"Can I sit here?" the blonde asked, acting as nonchalant as she could. It almost seemed realistic, but Catra knew she wasn't fully levelheaded.

"Yeah, go for it." Catra kept her voice to a mutter, looking back down to the table in front of her. If she could get this one class out of the way she'd be fine, back to her normal schedule, and more importantly, back on her own.

It'd be far from the truth to say Catra disliked Adora. She didn't. But, it was only because of Adora that she couldn't focus. Couldn't think straight. No matter how hard she tried to. Even if she told herself to just deal with it and not let herself get distracted, she always seemed to find her eyes lingering on Adora.

It nearly scared Catra, how magnetic she was. It felt like every single thing Adora did made her heart flutter, whether it be the way she winked at her every time they made eye contact or the way she always seemed to be lost in thought. 

Catra couldn't help but wonder what was going on in that lovely little mind of hers. Whatever it was had been undoubtedly intriguing, getting her lost in her own thoughts a fair few times. The test went by quickly when she had Adora as an incentive, something for her mind to return to when it thought it was done.

Everything was Adora. No matter what, it came full circle, all the way back to Adora. Even after two days, she was lost. She just couldn't get away.

-

When lunch rolled around, Adora had looked through the whole cafeteria for Catra. When she finally found her on her own in the back corner, Catra just followed along. Last night's tiredness was already starting to set in, which made following Adora a bit easier to go about doing.

Once she got to the table, the only other people there happened to be some girl with bright pink hair and a boy who looked nervous enough to be meeting the parents. They didn't seem too bothered by her showing up but boy, was she anxious.

It was probably obvious how uncomfortable she looked, sitting there with tired eyes and her back unusually upright. Normally Catra slouched and looked near constantly exhausted, but she wanted to make a decent impression.

"Soooo, Catra," the girl with pink hair asked, sounding a bit apprehensive right off the get-go. Adora had sat down next to her and, as much as she thought it was just wishful thinking, Catra could've sworn she was leaning towards her. "Nice to meet you, I'm Glimmer, and this is Bow." Glimmer gestured at Bow and grinned, while the boy waved at her.

Catra just nodded, glancing over at Adora when she noticed that this girl had already known her name. She settled on just giving her a smirk, understanding that it meant one of two things; either Adora had told them that they'd be meeting up, or she had talked with them about her before. 

It'd be a lie to say that Catra was fully comfortable in the group. Especially after her fight with Adora previously, she felt tense, like anything could start another dispute. She was ashamed, of course, that she'd been the one to get upset, even after Adora had offered to help her out. 

Silence fell over the group for a moment before Bow finally spoke up. He sounded a bit uncertain, but he just wanted a topic, as far as anyone could tell. "Well, it's nice to meet you. Do you do any of the extracurriculars? I feel like I've seen you before."

Catra shook her head. "I usually try to do the bare minimum for school. Most of the time I'm either at home or at the park, so you've probably seen me there." While Catra was fine with speaking to the other two, she was waiting for Adora to speak up as well. If she could at least discern whether or not they were on good terms, it would probably be a great help to her.

Bow nodded. "That'd probably make sense, alright." He went quiet, still desperately looking for a topic. There was a certain tension between Adora and Catra, the way they never looked directly at each other if they could help it, or how Adora had gone dead silent ever since bringing Catra over. 

"Adora, is something wrong?" Glimmer asked softly, taking note of the way she seemed to be deep into her thoughts. She was practically staring off into space, steel blue eyes set on the blank wall behind Glimmer. 

Quickly snapped out of her daze, Adora shook her head, laughing tensely. "No, I'm good." While the statement definitely seemed forced, Glimmer just nodded along and went back to staring down at the table. 

Catra, on the other hand, narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to Adora, gauging her reaction. "Are ya' sure?" she asked, noticing the way Adora practically winced away. It hurt her to see that Adora didn't even want her close, as far as she could tell, but she drifted back to her own seat when she realized that Adora seemed to shy away.

As much as Catra wanted to be close, she would rather have Adora be comfortable around her. Normally at lunch, Catra had seen Adora laughing and grinning with her group, having the time of her life. When she really boiled it down, it made her feel like it was her fault.

"I'm-- I'm fine." Adora managed, though her tone was more rigid than before. She shifted uncomfortably, staring down at the table.

"Hypocrite," Catra muttered softly, glancing over her. "What was that about accepting help?" she asked, raising one brow while she looked over at the blonde.

"This is different, mainly because I'm okay," Adora responded bluntly, glancing over at Bow and Glimmer for a moment before back at Catra. The other two had gone back to focusing on their lunch, while Catra hadn't brought food and Adora had most likely already had something. 

Catra rolled her eyes. "If you're alright now, who's to say I wasn't alright last night?" She watched as Adora idly fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. "If I'm expected to take advice from you, how come you get to completely disregard people asking you what's up? You're a terrible actor."

Adora huffed. "Really? If you were so okay, you'd stop avoiding me constantly and- and maybe you'd give me a chance. Can we maybe, not do this in front of them?" she muttered softly, gesturing to Glimmer and Bow, both of which looking unphased by all of what was happening. 

"They don't seem to care." Catra nodded and chuckled. "I really wish you understood that this whole 'perfect' act doesn't work for you, y'know? If you genuinely believed that advice is so important, why not actually receive it yourself?"

"Catra, it's not the same. Let's just change the topic, please?" Adora made another attempt to redirect the conversation, seeing as she was far from glad to be discussing the things that made her more than insecure.

Adora knew what her intentions were, but she felt bad accepting help from someone who seemed to be in a far worse place than she was. 

"Sure." Catra went silent, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly. If Adora was uncomfortable, Catra didn't want to make things even worse. It was when silence fell over the table that she realized what she'd said, and she regretted it immediately. "Sorry. I didn't mean.. you know..." 

It took a moment of looking around the table for her to notice that no one was listening to her. They were all focused on whatever else they had nearby, be it their phones, a book, or just staring off into the distance - perfectly demonstrated by Adora.

Catra huffed softly and got up. Glancing around the table, Catra decided it'd be easier to just leave. "Never mind." 

Turning and giving a little flick of her tail, Catra made her way out to the hallway. The lunchroom felt too loud, so she made a beeline for the library. Her pace never slowed, a constant speedwalk as to not make the teachers yell at her, but she was clearly in a hurry.

The librarian never seemed to care what Catra did. They understood each other; 'I stay quiet, you stay quiet, and we'll pretend that I don't exist.' She hardly ever checked out books, but it was a great place to escape. Weaving her way through to the back section, mostly made up of the fantasy books, Catra took a moment to catch her breath. 

No one could get to her in the back, right? Not even the gray-haired cranky old librarian who smelled like baby powder could see her. It was a safe haven.

Or so she thought. Two strong hands held onto Catra's shoulders, holding her in place as firmly as they could. Catra went stiff, but she didn't move, she wanted to, but she couldn't. It was obvious who it was, no guys paid any mind to her and none of the girls would be strong enough to hold her still. Other than Adora of course. 

The air between them was far too heavy. An uncomfortable silence fell between them for a good few seconds, before Adora pulled away from her. Catra whipped around as soon as she was released, instinctively backing up a bit.

"Why'd you leave?" Adora started off the questioning bluntly, backing up a step to give Catra her space. She narrowed her eyes slightly, staring her down like a hawk. 

Catra looked at her for a minute, holding herself still. She didn't want to move. She didn't even know if she could. The night before left her hurt enough, but being cornered didn't help her hunch that this wasn't going to go well. 

"Why. All I did was ask you to stop arguing with me in front of my friends." Adora's tone was more rigid than usual, but quiet enough that the librarian wouldn't hear. 

"A-ah.. I- I just didn't want to bother you guys-- and.. you seemed mad--" Catra cut herself off, ears swiveling back. Her tail frizzed up, coiling tightly around her leg. 

"You know I'm not mad at you. I just want to help you and, well, it's frustrating, 'cause the only thing you seem to want is more arguing." Adora sighed. "I don't want to see you getting beat up on-- literally and figuratively. But it doesn't seem like you feel the same."

Catra tensed up. She felt her face heating up, nervously cowering further into the corner. "I don't want to be-- be hurt anymore... but I can't just stop that-" 

"No."

Adora sighed and took a step back toward her. "You can't stop people. But what you can do, is grow the hell up." She leaned over her slightly, though she tried to keep at least a little bit of distance between them. "You're eighteen years old and the world's a bitch, alright? You can't just live your life letting people control your actions."

Catra tried to move further away, but she was met by the wall. Her body froze up, chest constricting slightly and making it harder to breathe. She couldn't talk.

"In the last two days, you've either pushed me away, isolated yourself or wanted to argue more." Adora's voice broke slightly, but she was trying her hardest to stay composed. "Tell me what you want from me. If you want me to leave you alone and pretend that nothing's wrong, fine. I will. Just tell me."

Catra looked up at her, feeling herself start to shake. A deep chill ran up her spine, tail wrapping tighter around her leg. 

"I can leave today if you want me to. I'll go home and let you do whatever. Would that be better?" Adora sighed, staring at her for a moment, waiting for a response, for anything.

Catra couldn't form one, nor could she tell Adora what she was feeling. She couldn't even make a noise, but she felt her eyes start to well up with tears. Adora's gaze softened slightly on her when she noticed the tears, but she didn't back down.

Tears started running down Catra's face, unable to hold themselves back anymore. She looked up at Adora, nearly pleadingly, opening her mouth to speak, and failing. Her mind was racing far too much for her to speak. 

Adora's eyes widened a bit when she noticed Catra crying. She was making it worse, or, it seemed like she was. "I'll go. Sorry." 

"wh- Wait," Catra stammered softly, leaping forward and throwing her arms around Adora, holding onto her. "D-don't go. please..."

Adora looked slightly shocked, looking down at the arms that were enclosed around her tighter than she thought possible. She backed up a bit, placing one hand on Catra's gently. 

"I- I didn't mean to make you cry." Adora paused, swallowing hard as she tried to keep herself together. Everything felt cold- like it had just stopped, given up dead in its tracks. "Fuck." 

Catra's breath got a bit shaky as she held onto Adora, continuing to cry. She wanted to apologize, but she couldn't trust herself to speak. So she just stayed there, crying.

"C'mon," Adora murmured softly, moving over to the bench in the section, Catra still latched onto her. Catra let go for a moment, but she moved quickly back when Adora had sat down. 

Catra situated herself next to Adora, still shaking slightly as she did. "I'm-- I'm sorry for not being strong enough. You're right... I need to be less-- weak-" Catra struggled to get her words out, stuttering harder than usual.

"No, take that back. You're not weak, hell, you're stronger than I could ever be for putting up with that - bitch - at the park. I just wasn't thinking, and.. dammit." Adora leaned back, sighing softly.

"We've.. we've got uh, class, pretty soon," Catra muttered, pulling her knees closer to herself. "You can go if you, er, don't want to miss it.."

Adora shook her head and pushed a bit of Catra's hair out of her face. "I'm staying here with you. We're probably not doing anything important today, so, it'll be fine."

Catra huffed and eased up, but she couldn't keep herself from feeling anxious when the bell rang. Adora didn't move - and Catra didn't either.

"It'll be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for that one ha whoops-


End file.
